I have a reputation for making people cry.

Actually, let me rephrase that: I have a track record of people crying in 1-2-1 appointments with me.

Not because I’m so awful to talk to, but because people seem to be able to drop the masks and go deep pretty quickly when we start chatting.

They’re not ‘bad’ tears (if there’s any such thing), it’s just an emotional release – like a sudden escape from holding back/hiding/suppressing/saving face. The feeling of relief is often quite evident!

When I was doing lots of business networking, this happened once in about every four 1-2-1s.

Frequently, people would apologise and say something like: “I don’t usually do this…”.

I would always reassure them, say it was perfectly okay. It’s human. It’s real.

One of my greatest ever medicine teachers, Chris Lüttichau, taught me that unshed tears drown the heart.

I reckon he was right; we bottle up far too much.

That old British stiff upper lip thing has a lot to answer for.

Emotions will find an out, one way or another.

I’d rather people released a few tears in a ‘safe’ 1-2-1 with me than hold everything in and have all that energy distort, or manifest as something less pleasant, as it pushes its way to the surface.

It’s better to talk about things in a safe space than keep insisting everything’s okay until we hit a wall.

You don’t need to hold everything in and wait for the breakdown to hit.

You don’t need to pretend everything’s okay if that’s not the way you feel.

And, I promise you, you won’t be the only person in the room feeling stressed/depressed/lonely/wondering how you’ll make ends meet/facing cashflow challenges/going through a relationship breakdown/grieving/hurting/worrying/having panic attacks/wondering if you’re doing the right thing, etc, etc.

You are not alone in feeling this way; everyone’s doing their best to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and they all think they’re the only one struggling as well.

It’s okay.

It will be okay.

You have a 100% track record of surviving tough times and you’ll do it again.

Just remember you’re human and you are allowed to feel.

You’re not a robot.

None of us are.

And if crying with me – or anyone else you trust – in a 1-2-1, over a coffee, in a coaching appointment, via a Zoom call, or any other circumstance helps, let it happen.

It’s okay. We’ve got you.


Taz X
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