They help us to understand what drives us AND why the actions of others can really unsettle us (I call that getting punched in the value sets!).

By and large, our value sets are awesome… but I want you to understand how yours might be tripping you up.

Back in the day, I ended up feeling shafted by a number of people I’d trusted – friends and clients alike.

Why? Because my own values blinded me to the reality of the situation.

My values include integrity, authenticity, being of service, supporting and inspiring.

All good… except the trouble with values is that we expect others to be singing from the same song book all too often.

Where did mine bite me in the unmentionables? Anything to do with money!

If I ever said I was broke, it meant I was financially flatlining: scrabbling down the back of the sofa for loose change, negotiating with suppliers to break my utility bills into manageable chunks and wondering what I could sell to pay for a few tins of baked beans from Aldi.

I had no savings. No safety net. Zilch.

And so, back then, when other people told me money was tight, I took that at face value and did all I could to make things easier for them.

I allowed people to pay me less, defer payments, sometimes even get away without paying AT ALL!

I’d assumed they were worse off than me and did my all to help.

Except MY broke and THEIR broke were sometimes very different things!

Imagine how I felt when I saw them splashing cash on everything from second and third houses, to motorbikes, holidays and other people’s training and coaching programmes!?

My favourite example? I remember Asha and I feeling really worried about a networking friend of ours, who had really gone into that place of trusted vulnerability with us, telling us how much their finances had spiralled, and how they’d had to sell their home and downsize.

Ash and I were scratching our heads wondering how we could help. Could we do some kind of crowdsourcing? Could we drive more business their way?

One day, we agreed to meet at their new, much smaller house.

We were expecting a two-up, two-down terraced property. We turned up at a large, detached house, in its own grounds and with its own traffic light!

The fault, of course, was our assumptions. No lies had been told. There had been no deliberate hoodwinking. We’d just heard about someone going through financial struggles and painted the picture from our own value sets and experiences.

What do I want you to take from this? Please check in and beware of bending over backwards to help people at the expense of your own spine!

For a lot of people, ‘broke’ means having to dip into one of their savings accounts, or spend only £25 on a bottle of red instead of £50.

Always be willing to support and serve where it’s genuinely needed, but never assume.

Have clearly defined contracts for all your working agreements, including what happens in the case of cashflow issues. Don’t assume you’re better off than all the people you serve… you might just be killing your own prosperity needlessly.


Taz X