The bits you worry make you “too much” or “too different” are often the exact things that make people remember you.
Most of us spend years trying to smooth away our edges. We fret about being too loud, too quiet, too colourful, too intense, too spiritual, too nerdy, too queer, too something. Somewhere along the way, we start to believe that if we can just make ourselves a bit more beige, we’ll be more acceptable.
But beige doesn’t change the world. Beige doesn’t attract the people who are meant to find you. Beige is wallpaper. It’s safe. Beige won’t offend anyone. But it’s nobody’s favourite colour either. At some point, you need to stop trying to disappear into the background. You are not a NutriBullet. Stop blending.
It’s the quirks, the edges and the unpolished bits that make us unforgettable.
They’re the parts that signal to the right people: you’ve found your crowd.
I’ve lost count of how many clients have started with “I know I should tone it down…” and ended up flying when they finally stopped trying to be a watered-down version of themselves. That’s when they get louder, clearer and braver – and that’s when the magic happens.
If you’ve been shrinking to fit, here’s your nudge to stop. Pick one part of yourself you’ve been tucking away. Bring it out this week. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Maybe it’s a story you’ve been scared to tell. Maybe it’s wearing something bold to a meeting. Maybe it’s hitting “post” on something you’ve been second-guessing. Just one thing.
Start showing people who you are, not who you think you’re supposed to be.
The right people will lean in. The wrong ones will drift out. And that’s exactly how it should be.